Dr Katriona O’Sullivan talks home, writing and the gift of books …
ON HOME Home is wherever Dave and my boys are. I am not tied to bricks and mortar – I feel home with people. I was homeless when I was younger, I got pregnant and lived in a homeless hostel and this really affected my perception of what a home is. It made me insecure for a safe place to live. As I have healed and grown, this has changed – I realise now that home is being with the people I love, and that can be anywhere. I do live in a place called Hollystown, in Blanchardstown, Dublin 15, and I love my house. I think anywhere on the Northside of Dublin could be considered home for me though.
ON ROOTS I always tell people that “the tree which I grew from is dead”. That sounds morbid but both of my parents are dead, and they died young enough – my dad was 56 and my mam was 60 – so I feel like my roots are gone. The roots I have are the ones I have planted myself. My three sons, my daughter-in-law and my grandson, and Dave, are the roots I have planted – and they are strong and healthy. I grew up in a really chaotic home and I didn’t feel safe. This made it very hard for me to feel stable enough to grow, and form relationships. My new book is about the instability of my roots, how growing up with the loss of food and a feeling of shame made it hard for me to find stable ground to grow from. I have spent 25 years trying to heal from that lost childhood – from my parents’ addictions, from the bad education system, from the limits placed on me. I am a strong stable structure now – thankfully. I am a big tree!
I feel home with people. I was homeless when I was younger, I got pregnant and lived in a homeless hostel and this really affected my perception of what a home is.
ON WRITING I recently found an old blue folder in a bag in the attic. It contained the beginnings of two short stories that I wrote back in 1999, when I was attending an adult education course for poor women. One of them was about my nanny – and it was good! I was surprised; I had forgotten that I have always been drawn to writing, I have reams of poems and words strewn around my house, ways for me to express myself, my heartache, my joys. But I love and hate writing; it is something I try to practice every day, “try” being the apt word. It’s something I am highly critical about – so much so that I write and delete and write and delete a lot. Writing my most recent book was more joyful than the first; I had three female editors on the book, all of them guiding, helping and supporting me. Writing for publication isn’t just a one person thing, it is often a process of writing, sharing, listening, rewriting. As I accept more and more that I am a writer, I have more and more things I want to write about. I am always writing, and formulating ideas, even when I’m doing other things.
ON MY WRITING SPACE I can write anywhere; if I could choose though it would be in Avoca in Dunboyne, with all the lovely staff saying hi, and the coffee and cake. I was there when I was drafting Poor. For Hungry, I went to the Tyrone Guthrie Centre twice – lots of artists go there, and the people and staff are gorgeous.
ON READING Books were the greatest gift I was given as a child, they helped me dream and hope and speak. I love Claire Keegan and Elaine Feeney, Patricia Scanlon and Louise Kennedy, Michael Magee and Karl Geary, Edel Coffey and Tanya Sweeney. Lately I am reading a lot of fiction about middle-aged women losing their shit and running away from their lives – don’t read into that too much. I have three books on the go most of the time, and I have no time to read them because I am writing. If something grabs me, though, I cannot do anything else but read. I love that feeling. It is magical.
ON BOOKSHOPS I love a good independent bookshop, especially Maynooth Bookshop. I have made the best friends through chatting to booksellers and understanding their business. Cian in Maynooth and the team in Kenny’s in Galway have been a constant source of support, craic and information. You can also take books out of the library for free – this was one of the only ways I got to read as a child so it’s important to flag. Authors get paid per book loan too, so don’t worry about that! @katriona_osullivan
Hungry: A biography of my body by Katriona O’Sullivan is published by Hachette Books Ireland.
