“Enjoying a few moments of calm for yourself [before a gathering] so you can truly focus on and enjoy your guests, is one of the secrets to being a good hostess,” according to Aerin Lauder. She tackles 20 celebrations including a white winter champagne party with mini chapters on her stylish family and friends including Caroline Sieber von Westenholz in her new book Entertaining Beautifully. In this Lauder admits her love of entertaining began in childhood and was nurtured by her mother and grandmothers. “My sister, Jane, and I would play for hours with our Barbie dolls and dollhouse. I would say, “There’s a party tonight at my Barbie’s house. Will you come?” and I’d tell her, “This is what we’re going to serve. This is what everyone’s going to wear.”

I would take control of the parties and my poor younger sister had to follow along. I also have fond memories of hosting tea parties with my grandmothers Estée and Sylvia in my nursery, with my miniature tea set and loyal stuffed animals. I grew up surrounded by enchanting parties and dinners that inspire me to this day. I learned how to entertain from two incredible women: my grandmother Estée and my mother, Jo Carole. Both were flawless hostesses, but each had a different style. Estée entertained in a very formal way. She would have elegant, beveled gold-edged menus and place cards with calligraphy, matchbooks with her initials, and little gifts – like her glamorous compacts – at each place setting for the women. She had amazing collections of china and linens, some of which I’ve been fortunate enough to inherit.

My mother has great taste as well. Her tablesettings are enriched by her collecting, which includes American antiques such as spongeware, as well as European ceramics from the 18^th through the 20th centuries. She taught me the importance of crisply pressed linen napkins, polished silver, and sparkling glasses. Even now, when I host a special dinner, I’ll ask her to come over and make sure I’ve set the table perfectly.

Christmas in New York is a truly magical time. The city is dressed in its finest, with twinkling lights and magnificent trees, store windows filled with captivating displays, and an abundance of greenery, flowers, and the transporting scent of pine. In my family growing up and now with my own family, we have always celebrated both Hanukkah and Christmas. On Christmas morning, my father would make us apple pancakes and we would open gifts in our pyjamas, traditions I’ve continued with my own children. We observed the Jewish holidays at my grandmother’s, and still gather there to eat together in her stately townhouse, using her beautiful china and surrounded by memories. Sometimes we go to my parents’ or my uncle’s, but somehow the matzo ball soup always tastes best at my grandmother’s.

December is an enchanting time to entertain and welcome friends to sit by the fire: the house is filled with festive bouquets of red flowers and fragrant evergreen garlands and the tree is glistening and adorned with ornaments. I have been collecting ornaments on my travels for years and giving special ones to my children, so trimming the tree is a nostalgic journey that offers us a chance to reminisce and recall all the places we’ve been together.  We often put up our Christmas tree in the library, so that’s where we gather on Christmas morning to exchange gifts, listening to classic holiday music. 

This room encapsulates everything I love about the holidays, and it’s where everyone gravitates. Evergreen garlands adorn the mantel, and the tree is lavished tip to trunk with twinkling lights and meaningful ornaments I’ve collected over the years. Festive bouquets of butterfly ranunculus and purple anemones and bowls of ornaments spread cheer to every corner. The greenery, tree lights, and sparks of red pop against the deep slate-blue walls.

My grandfather was born on December 24, so we celebrated his birthday as a family – either at home or with dinner at the 21 Club – eating goose and chicken hash, with the Salvation Army singing carols, and gentlemen in black tie. It’s very old-school New York. Now I will often gather family at our home on the 24th and serve a classic English Christmas dinner with roast beef, Yorkshire pudding, and my father’s favourite holiday dessert, a chocolate bûche de Noël.

For Christmas dinner [table settings], I like to refine the palette to red and gold for a festive approach to the season. Gleaming gold vases, bowls, candlesticks and hurricane glasses of varying heights provide a warm foil for vibrant red roses, peonies, and berries. Bowls brimming with candies and ornaments and small wrapped presents at each place setting remind me of my grandmother. I tend to use simple gold plates or chargers, but sometimes I will go all out and use Estée’s opulent red-and-gold Russian dinnerware on a red-and white patterned tablecloth. It’s over-the-top and very festive and elegant. If there’s ever a time to go a little overboard with decorating, it’s at Christmas time.

I still order an elaborate gingerbread house from William Poll, and even though my children are now grown, it always gets eaten. I make pancakes just like my father did, and we’ve been known to sneak a few bites of gingerbread and chocolate at breakfast. Those are the indulgences of the season, and we all love to partake in them.

The silver tea set was a wedding gift from my parents. Bowls of ornaments and colourful Christmas ribbon candy add a festive touch to the art books I always have on the coffee table. I still hang appliquéd Christmas stockings filled with small treats for our sons.