1

Avril’s wedding is now on its fifth iteration since her engagement in 2019; her carefully curated moodboard modified with each stage of the pandemic.

2

The original plan of a discreet hen do at Ballyfin followed by a Grecian getaway was abandoned as she considered a registry office with six relations. That caused more family ructions than a season of Dynasty and was abandoned.

3

Her fiancé Ben is trying hard not to dwell on the cost of the hand-painted, letterpressed and posted save-the-date invitations to the original 120 guests, as well as the non-refundable flights for his stag weekend in Stockholm.

4 

Now Avril is tentatively planning a marquee in her parent’s garden for 50 guests, with catering by the local bistro. Wiggle room for a reduced guest list of 25 is also being considered, should restrictions change.

5 

Both Avril and her wedding planner would like to storm the Dáil, whose members seem to believe a wedding can be planned with four weeks’ notice. Clearly it’s married men who are making the decisions.

6

Avril’s father, instructed to plant dahlias in the beds on either side of the path to create an aisle, curses Charlie McCormick, an Instagram gardener he had never heard of until now.

7

Avril’s mother has been planning in-house renovations. Her sister, as event florist slash make-up artist slash hairdresser, has spent every evening on various Zoom tutorials. Her brother will be taking guests’ temperatures.

8 

As for the remaining guests, their original idea of wearing wafty kaftans in Greece has morphed into one of those on-trend pink trouser suits. How many will have the same ?one from Mango?

9 

Avril is very pleased with her favours which match her natural tablescape theme. They include mini Nunaia hand sanitisers, bespoke bee-jewelled facemasks from Susannagh Grogan and some Irish wildflower seedbombs.

10

?As consolation for no honeymoon, Avril has spent a fortune on non-traditional mini, maxi and magnificent dresses picked up in online sales. She will be wearing white for the remainder of the decade.

Illustration: Becky Donnelly (Instagram: @becky_donnelly)