Confession: I am in my Karen era …
Demanding refunds, asking people in public spaces to turn their music down (who wants to listen to ‘Drake’ while hiking?), complaining when I receive inadequate customer service – I’m sharpening my shellac nails and leaning into the discomfort of being branded a Difficult Woman.
This isn’t an act of petty retribution. It’s a joyous reclamation of a name that should have been hailed as a feminist icon and instead has been denigrated to that of a Disney villain: Karen. Yes, the bitter, petulant, stingy hag of yore. Except, is she? What is so bad about a woman asking for what she wants? Where is the evil in having high standards and communicating when those standards aren’t met? Aren’t those admirable traits to have? Or are they only admirable when embodied in the respected, palatable, dominant form of a man?
There, I said it. In fact, I would argue the construction of the Karen archetype is rooted in the pervasive misogyny that, thanks to the broligarchs and certain world leaders who shall not be named, is becoming more overt daily. It truly is a man’s world and we’re all just girl dinnering our way through it.
I’m calling sexism on society’s vilification of Karen.
The demonisation of women, who refuse to conform to the limited number of archetypes we’ve been allotted by the patriarchy, is nothing new. The ongoing legal battle between Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni is a prime example of this, as is its foreshadowing parent: the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp defamation trial. Both Lively and Heard have been villainised for failing to meet an impossible standard of perfection, and suffered abuse at the hands of carefully-orchestrated PR campaigns designed to paint them as monsters simply because they had the audacity to be, well, flawed.
In this age of Botox, BBLs and Ozempic, ‘flawed’ increasingly feels like a radical thing for a woman to be. The truth is, we remain terrified of, and disgusted by, women who refuse to read from the Nice Girl script. I’m so bored of this archaic thinking! And even more nauseated by a news cycle and cultural climate that facilitates it; in which women remain imprisoned within a false idea of freedom. We can be feisty, sassy or spunky, but we are not allowed to be picky, pugnacious or vitriolic.
Which is why I am insisting, with increasing urgency, that we reclaim Karen for ourselves and give her the feminist glow-up she deserves. You see, so many of the qualities a Karen possesses – forthrightness, assertiveness, tenacity – are traits openly praised in men. While Karen is considered brash, entitled and aggressive, her male counterparts are labelled as confident, exacting, a natural leader.
Photograph: The Irish Times (Benjamin B Braun/Pittsburgh Post-Gazette via AP)
One example I have been stewing over is the global idolisation of Luigi Mangione. Mangione is standing trial for the alleged murder of United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson last December. Thompson’s killing was considered an act of resistance and revolution against not only the US healthcare system but also against America’s mega-rich, plus the political powers protecting and emboldening them. In this, Mangione was lauded as a modern-day Robin Hood: a hero taking on the rich in the name of the poor.
At this point, it feels important to mention that Luigi Mangione happens to be almost unbelievably hot. This fact, combined with the extremity of his
actions and their ideological foundation, has elevated him to God-like status, with #FreeLuigi becoming its own cultural movement and one fundraiser raising over $100,000 for his defence fees.
Now, while I cannot deny my ardent following of the trial and deluge of memes it inspired (who could resist a real-life cat-and-mouse chase featuring ‘Monopoly’ money and cryptic engravings?), his public idolisation is not only a prime example of race and class privilege – Luigi comes from wealth and is white enough to be labeled a hero instead of a terrorist – it also feels deeply gendered. I cannot help but wonder if a woman would receive the same treatment.
More likely, she would be called crazy and swiftly dismissed into the grand canon of Hysterical Women.
Entitled Karen Meme Designs
I would argue that Karen occupies a similar cultural space as Luigi (although it’s only her dirty looks that can kill!), with none of the cultural glory. Think about it. Who is Karen? Karen is someone who will advocate (loudly) for what she believes in, even if it’s just the best seating at a restaurant or a glass of Chardonnay served in a gin goblet. Someone who – at a time when democracy, autonomy and equality feel like increasingly alien concepts – isn’t afraid to use her voice and stand up to “the man” … despite it making her the most hated woman in the room. Someone who may go to extreme lengths to prove a point, but who is nonetheless fighting the status quo and battling the terrifying complacency of “it is what it is”.
Why wouldn’t we celebrate this? Why would we not instill these qualities in our children, celebrate them in our friends or applaud them in our co-workers? When the rights of almost everyone except the Rich White Man are threatened, doesn’t the world need more Karens? People who will wait, no matter how long it takes, to speak to the manager. That is the kind of feminist icon we need. And, if we need to be the change we want to see in the world, that is the feminist icon I plan on being. One complaint at a time.
Holly is performing her one woman show, I Want To Speak To Your Manager (How I Was Radicalised And Became … Karen) at Smock Alley Theatre in Dublin on February 18 to 19 as part of Scene + Heard Festival. Book your tickets at www.smockalley.com – you won’t be disappointed!
