And what to do if you’re caught out …
Paying a monthly fee to a dating app is not a reason to lower your guard: You’ve paid an online subscription to a dating app, but that doesn’t mean everyone on it is real. Looking for love is hard, and we all know that in order to meet people we have to be brave, vulnerable and willing to do the work. When you commit that monthly fee to a dating app, all you have is a financial relationship with the app – the dating business has no ability to discern the intent of the person you are meeting.
Distance relationships: Once you have met a beautiful, kindred soul online and connected, you need to move the relationship off the app and into the real world. After all, if it is true love, it’s in the real world you will be together. While photos and videos are a way of sharing and growing closer, sharing this material is not a real-world relationship and exposes you to the risk of these photos being shared in ways over which you have no control.
Complex online world: If you do decide you would like to share material with a potential mate online, then locking down your friends, family and your personal life is important. Keeping our private life private means you have to make your digital life private also. Beware of allowing people to see your connections. Think: if you wouldn’t want your mother or your boss to see it, don’t share it.
The platforms are not your friend: While platforms claim to do everything they can to keep their users safe online, when something bad happens it is not always obvious where to start to get it fixed. The scammers are very adept at finding your weaknesses and know that it will be very diffi cult for you to catch up with them as they hide behind layers of complex technology systems.
SEE MORE: Sextortion in Ireland – One 23-Year-Old Man’s Experience
The moment anything bad happens:
• Tell somebody close to you – a family member or close friend – what has happened. Don’t stay silent as this is what the scammers are counting on.
• Go to every single profile you have and remove it from public view. Each platform has a slightly different way of doing it but you are trying to stop the scammers using your followers as a target.
• Call the Garda Confidential Helpline (1800 666 111). You should call regardless of whether you choose to let the Garda get involved, as it is important to have a record of the harm having occurred. You never know if the material you shared may be weaponised further against you in the future.
• Report, report, report to every platform and keep a photo record of every report you make. There’s a good chance that the handle of the person who was involved in the scam has already changed or deleted their account, so reporting to the platforms can be difficult but try to report at every link provided. The Garda should be able to assist in this if you can’t find a way through the complex systems the platforms have set up.
• Finally, there is legal and professional help out there to guide you through your specific set of circumstances – it is worth considering expert help if you feel overwhelmed. The important thing to remember is that you are not alone and that the scammers only succeed because they have tested the systems and found a way to exploit them. You don’t matter to them – it’s just a game of chance for them and they are targeting millions of people every day looking for the win. Stay strong and keep talking: this can happen to anyone. www.riskeye.com.
Emergency services phone numbers: 112; 999.
Rape Crisis National 24-hour helpline: 1800 778 888. Webchat support service available Mon-Fri, 10am- 5pm; www.drcc.ie.
