Our bodies are probably in optimum condition right now. For those WFH (working from home) we sleep longer, eat three home-cooked meals and do daily online Pilates. So it makes sense that attention seekers want to show off those honed thighs and biceps. Forget duvet coats, the duvet dress is the latest look that comes with a tog rating. In the absence of fashion shows, which may now be a thing of past, according to Angelica Cheung of Vogue China, the style set has swapped designer clothes for bed linen in the latest social media craze. The #pillowchallenge encourages people to style their feather, buckwheat or memory foam accessories. The American influencer Brittany Xavier (1.3m Instagram followers) started the craze harnessing a large white pillow to her with a black chain belt. Then German influencer Leonie Hanne (2.1m followers) followed up in three pillow looks styled with matchy-matchy accessories. Actresses Anne Hathaway and Halle Berry joined the challenge – the latter in all black – and the hashtag now has over 200,000 posts. The key to nailing this look is to source the broadest most squishy pillows possible – goose down is probably the most malleable – which will best offer coverage to natural “padding”. Tie with a belt and team with a glass of wine and your favourite handbag. Just don’t turn round or you’re liable to do a “Charles Saatchi” who this week gatecrashed his partner’s live Instagram stream completely starkers. No amount of Trinny’s Miracle Blur could improve the look.

What language are you learning in lockdown? French is passé and German is ersatz; it appears people are becoming fluent in dead, niche or fantasy languages. High Valerian spoken in Game of Thrones has hundreds of thousands learners around the globe, while Latin is booming, having reached over one million subscribers on the Duolingo app, six months after launching. Due to the popularity of its music and sport, Korean is also thriving, while lessons in Maori and Finnish are in the pipeline. Duolingo’s learning is done through games that can be completed in five minutes and include speaking, writing, reading and listening exercises. Klingon is also popular – it currently has over 316,000 students – no doubt ardent (Star) Trekkies – while Danish, Swedish and Norwegian are gaining traction because of Scandi dramas. Given these niche preoccupations, one wonders when the whistled language of The Clangers will make a comeback? For millennials, The Clangers were to Generation X what Teletubbies were to Generation Z. Many will recall the Teletubbies gibberish sparked a heated debate about whether it was dangerous nonsense or “a highly sophisticated programme that helps the language learning and thinking processes of the youngest television audience in history.” The jury is still out.

We’re used to the oddest of creative collaborations but surely one of the first was that between David Bowie and … Laura Ashley? Two rolls of wallpaper featuring Bowie’s designs on top of chintzy motifs are being sold by Sotheby’s, with each roll valued at more than €17,000. One entitled “Conflict” features Lucian Freud’s nude self portrait set against Laura Ashley florals, while the other entitled “Minotaur” features the mythical creature, albeit without an offending appendage. Bowie fans, of course, will know he experimented with wallpaper design in the 1990s before an exhibition of his art in London. Those who are interested in this mash-up of chintz and creativity can bid in the online auction, which lasts until April 28.

When not practising Klingon, there are a few Covid crunchers who are getting ready for their crop tops. The midriff is back with a vengeance – JLo flashed hers at her stepdaughter’s birthday the other day – while influencers like Gwyneth Paltrow, Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid have made crop tops acceptable beyond the gym. In the olden days a corona six pack was something you brought to the barbecue, but now it denotes exactly how you spent lockdown. Not for you baking banana bread or endlessly diluting Zoflora, rather it is racking up the number of crunches and planks (have you tried the 30-day challenge or the 90-day challenge to be more accurate!). There’s no excuse not to get a washboard stomach doing sit-ups between Zoom meetings, though many of us still prefer an actual Crunchie to a crunch.

Are you keeping or reading a corona diary for posterity or publication post pandemic? Fashion entrepreneur Lauren Santo Domingo has started a book club and intriguingly her recent reading list suggestions recommend The Diary of Samuel Pepys, set against the bubonic plague of 17th-century London. Too historical? There are more contemporary diarists who have nailed the essential mix of scandalous revelations, mundane details and sensitive commentary. One such is Pedro Almodóvar’s lockdown diary, currently serialised on the BFI website, (where he also shares his book and film recommendations), and is garnering a cult following. He recalls some early trips to Hollywood and a dinner with Madonna who was enamoured by fellow Antonio Banderas, who spoke little English at the time. (Read the full excerpt where she asks him if he liked hitting (on) women). She asked Almodóvar to help with placement – seating him beside her at dinner, while his (first) wife Ana Leza was relegated to social Siberia at another table. “At the end of the dinner, Ana dared to get close to our table and told the divine blonde sarcastically, “I see you like my husband, it doesn’t surprise me, all women like him, but I don’t mind because I am very modern.” To which Madonna replied: “Get lost.” To cite author Craig Brown, “the best diaries are humble, because they are looking at other people rather than themselves. You are seeing the world through their eyes.” Interestingly the waspish Brown recommends The Story of My Life by Helen Keller as one of his favourite reads. This American classic was published when Keller was only 22 and portrays a wild child, locked in the dark and silent prison of her own body. Keller reveals her frustrations and rage, taking the reader on the unforgettable journey of her education and breakthroughs into the world of communication. Reading it, lockdown takes on a new poignant meaning …