24 for 2024: Make These (Slightly Subversive) Resolutions - The Gloss Magazine
PHOTOGRAPHED BY OLIVIA GRAHAM

24 for 2024: Make These (Slightly Subversive) Resolutions

Susan Zelouf is sorting us out…

1. Put all the pens and pencils you’ve accumulated over a lifetime into a Manolo Blahnik shoebox; leave it at the curb with a Post-it note stuck to it saying “Free”.

2. Invest in an elegant pen; a Cross Classic Century Ballpoint in sterling silver is timeless, and makes writing cheques a pleasure.

3. Know your worth: write yourself a cheque (with your forever pen) for a million bucks and frame it.

4. Wear rings on every finger, and a dainty toe ring; little surprises keep things fresh.

5. Get a rose gold chrome mani/pedi.

6. Wink at a handsome stranger.

7. Flirt shamelessly at least once a week, whatever your relationship status. Go big, then go home.

8. Wear a brooch for any occasion, like the late Queen; brooches tell stories so you don’t have to. Find vintage brooches in thrift stores, charity shops and your granny’s jumble drawer.

9. Wear a beret and order breakfast in French: “Je voudrais un café noir et un croissant, s’il vous plaît.” If the barista responds incomprehensibly en français, just say très apologetically “Je suis désolé, mais je ne parle pas français.

10. Visit museums and galleries and choose a piece you’d give house room to, if money was no object.

11. Take singing lessons and perfect a party piece. Hire a choreographer for additional impact and watch the invitations roll in.

12. Buy a pair of gold shoes, or spray paint an old pair; wear them often and for no good reason.

13. Learn how to walk like a runway model in under a minute via YouTube.

14. Go to bed wearing nothing but a string of pearls and perfume.

15. Go to the Dior counter in BT’s and ask for advice on choosing the perfect shade of red lipstick.

16. Take tango lessons in a red dress and fishnet stockings.

17. Put together a playlist you can’t help dancing to; pump up the volume when you’re cleaning house.

18. Use the boxed cutlery, the fine china and the good room.

19. Ask for a taste of three different wines before ordering a glass.

20. Pretend you’re really rich and incredibly good looking; now what?

21. Practice intermittent fasting from your devices; disconnect 16:8.

22. Notice what you’re noticing.

23. Perfect the art of listening; when another person is talking, try to be so engaged you burn calories, according to NY Times columnist David Brooks, author of How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen.

24. Learn how to spear fish; come the apocalypse, it may come in handy.

@susanzelouf

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