Social Insecurities: Wedding Invites

SARAH BREEN on the daily anxieties of modern life

Jacky Sheridan


Doing a double-take while reading the wedding invitation to confirm that, yes, it’s just for you. You alone. No plus one!


Ringing around your mutuals in the hope you’ll have someone to discuss the dress with outside the church. No joy.


Going the extra mile with your outfit to ensure you feel peak confident. Resisting the urge to pack a hipflask, lest you become overconfident and try to make a speech.


Praying you’ll be seated at the Fun, Single People Table.


Spotting three other solo guests at the prosecco reception and immediately becoming Wedding Buddies, a bond that is bound to last for decades.


Introducing yourself to your tablemates as Vanessa, the enigmatic Belgian financier, and then having to commit to an accent for the rest of the evening.


Eavesdropping in the ladies before weighing in on why Victor definitely shouldn’t get the house in the divorce, thus making new friends for life (or at least until the dancing ends).


Positioning yourself right in the eyeline of the bride – the one person you know! – until the videographer asks you to stop communicating via sign language as you’re ruining the DVD.


Resisting the urge to try and catch the bouquet even though you’re sure you could dominate the assembled crowd.


Checking out the next morning and noticing the hotel charged you a single supplement. Nice!


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