A View From The Jeep … The Bitch is Back

But where has she been? HONORA QUINN spills all …

You might remember A View From The Jeep, conceived to poke fun at the absurd Gold Rush lifestyle that became the norm for some during our Celtic Tiger era, with Connie the anti-hero, worshipping at the altars of Image and Status. A rumour circulating that someone alarmingly similar to Connie has been seen behind the wheel … of a Tesla. Could this ghastly woman be on the way back? It seems the rumours are true …. Honora Quinn met her and asked her where she’d been …

Connie is back, ever resilient and eternally incorrigible, she has weathered the tail end of the dark years, too many of them spent quietly on the SoCoDu reservation turning her hand to virtually anything that paid, enduring all sorts of humiliations to keep darling Fionn and Molly in their esteemed private schools and just about allowing her to hang on to her shamefully old Jeep outside her absurdly leveraged des res in Avondale Rise.

It has not been plain sailing. There was a hideous amount of school holidays spent at her damp ancestral bungalow in the midlands, whilst her home was let out at vastly inflated rent to naïve AirBnBers from all over the globe. And she suspects her neighbours didn’t really buy her explanations of the renters being far flung business associates of her current husband, Ruairi the Ruinator. That said, there has been suspiciously little complaint from any of them and she can only assume they were all at it. Definitely not one for discussion on the charity lunch circuit or any other bitch fests.

Doing her bit for homelessness was harder work altogether, taking in students as lodgers, Connie passed them all off as relatives of Dora her beleaguered Filipina, implying she was doing her a great kindness, tricky enough when half of them were hulking Russians and damn difficult to squash six to a room. Though some of them have proved to be absolutely fab for contacts in the ‘Replica’ market. And Connie is doing quite nicely from a side line in high end Birkins and Tiffany baubles.

Such a pity Ruairi the Ruinator has had to return home empty handed from his nefarious foreign dealings, tediously acting the big property developer again, camouflaged by the froth above the bubble and bluster of the actual real deal makers, plus ça change there.

Yet despite or indeed as a result of the graft and grind, the smoke and mirrors, the ducks and dives, Connie has made it through, and is nearly across the line in terms of early years parenting. Molly has started at Trinners, and oh the sheer joy of social opportunities there! And Fionn is forging his way through sixth year ably aided and abetted by his mother, both of them working every angle of ‘doing’ the Leaving Cert.

And only recently Connie has met a fabby woman of a similar dubious background to her own who is clearly operating very successfully in terribly exotic circles. And she just might be persuaded to cut Connie in……Life is looking very nearly fabulous once again.

Honora Quinn

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