A View From The Jeep: Saturday, December 8

This week CONNIE CELEBRATES the Feast of the Immaculate Concepta …

There’s nothing Connie likes better than a good pray day, not literally of course, as her Gods are strictly of the material kind. Avoiding town is of course mandatory on this day of annual pilgrimage by far too many rural yokels to the Capital. Connie is occupied with Resident’s Association matters and firmly following her mantra that she is the Committee, she intends to commence and naturally control, quartier Avondale Rise Christmas décor.

Despite her efforts adding to the house value for the hood, she detects a sly air of resistance amongst her fellow residents, indeed some particularly earnest neighbours are quite keen to remind her of her festive exploits during the Tiger years. Even she can’t help blushing as she remembers the ‘live’ crib cows who made shit of many manicured lawns or indeed the flock of tinseled sheep who escaped onto the N11.

Making hay while the worrywarts pray, she has single handedly bought the largest tree imaginable which will arrive at precisely mid-day from nearby Blackrock College; it’s always a such pleasure to deal with the gentlemanly Rock boys even if her son Fionn is eternally puce with embarrassment as she swans into the tree sales enclosure and proceeds to have ALL the stock dragged out for inspection. Hints of exaggeratedly generous tips keeps the boys giving her their full attention, and it’s vaguely amusing to observe the lesser hip parents bristle in irritation as they are momentarily ignored.

Connie can easily defend the cost of the vast blue spruce to the Res Soc as the money goes straight to the VdeP, but she would like some appreciation for the decorations for which she braved Aldi albeit the Blackrock store. She not only suffered the indignity of being recognised there, she had to endure the total lack of check out packers and tolerate the extreme lack of familiarity. She did, however, succeed in getting tons of Xmas lights for half nothing (truth tell everything seemed like it was for practically free, she just might have to sneak back and get some supplies for herself, what an adventure!).

Tree in situ, Connie proceeds with the invitations to the official lighting up ceremony to be held next weekend, a simple affair. A direct provisions choir and catering by the Ivy, all pretty homespun really and at least half of it will be free. Her biggest anxiety is if she can secure a celeb to turn on the lights or will she be compelled to do the honours and don her rather alluring Madame Santa costume again? All for a good cause, of course.


Read previous instalments of A View From The Jeep …

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