A New View From The Jeep

This week CONNIE is putting radical changes in place as she becomes her darling Fionn’s official Leaving Cert manager …

Connie is recovering from a major setback – Fionn’s Leaving Cert Mocks. Based on his results it would seem even to the most optimistic that he is not destined to be the much longed for Medical Consultant. She is very shaken by how grievously she is affected by this tragedy. She has always felt destined to copiously and vociferously utter the sweet and triumphant words, “my son the consultant” because frankly “my son the photocopier salesman’ does not have quite the same ring. Not that Connie would ever admit to having even a distant relation in junior commerce not to mind her precious son. Therefore this will NOT be happening. Which all leaves Connie and Fionn with some very strategic CAO changes and choices to complete, not to mind the hurdle of being match fit for the actual exams.

The advice from the school was so depressing with too much ridiculous emphasis on choosing achievable courses and not too subtle suggestions of concentrating on applying to what Connie can only ever refer to as Techs. This also will NOT be happening. Fionn will enter the hallowed halls of Trinners by fair means or foul. Far better to study some socially aspirant ‘ology’ there than take a ‘professional’ course in some mediocre establishment on some grotty backstreet.

With exactly two months to go, achieving her ambitions will entail radical changes: for herself she intends to retreat from normal life, and enter LC purdah, no lunches or balls, no shopping or cycling. She will procure the best grinds, tutors and motivational coaches for Fionn that money, manipulation and threats can procure. She will sacrifice her own nutritionist and personal trainer sessions and instead have them concentrate on Fionn.   Though her first job as a full time LC mom is a trip to the Doctor for a stash of Ritalin and Adderall and maybe a few valium too.

This new role as Fionn’s LC manager could be rather exciting and stimulating if it wasn’t so damn critically important and Connie is actually quite genuinely stressed. For so long she has despised the matrons of SoCoDu who on enquiry as to their general well-being all bleated back “we’re doing the Leaving” and she winces slightly at her callous replies enquiring of them if they had gone back to school themselves. Now, to her horror and somewhat embarrassment, she herself has become one of them, because By God she now gets the reality that she is most decidedly ‘doing the Leaving’.

Pure Connie stress.


Read previous instalments of A View From The Jeep …  

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