A New View From The Jeep

This week CONNIE runs the risk of being excommunicated from her girl gang if she decides to skip the annual SoCoDu exodus to the Algarve …

 

Connie’s book club is getting to that threatening time of year where the gossip turns from the normal vicious chitchat about other parents and their offspring to announcements about holiday plans for the summer. Connie is in the rather precarious position of pronouncing a weariness with Quinta, and she needs to plot this proclamation with great care because heavens forbid the snakevine might think it’s because she doesn’t have the moulah to attend the annual SoCoDu exodus to the Algarve. Frankly the news will cause even more of a shock than if she declared she intended to vote Sinn Féin in the forthcoming elections.

She is very nervous that the pack could turn against her, for such is their dedication to SoCoDu sur Mer that they could actually implode with rage. It’s perfectly fine to decimate one’s peers for being fat or living beyond their means, however, to turn one’s back on the annual pilgrimage to the tribal watering hole could leave one excluded from the herd forever. A very fine line for Connie to tread but one she is prepared to risk for she is finding the Quinta scene rather jaded and frankly she is experiencing more of her ‘woke’ feelings about the slavery of all the extreme beauty, body and wardrobe necessities that are basic requirements for a luncheon appearance at Julia’s. The starving from January 3, the extreme body conditioning, and the hours and hours spent trawling online shops for chic but oh so casual beach gear.

The thought that is buzzing around in her head like a demented queen bee is whether this ennui could be vaguely age related. She is experiencing extreme angst that this ‘woke’ stuff might be masking a malaise of the mind or even worse: the menopause. Is it a subconscious protection of her fragile ego against having to appear in the harsh sunlight with a slightly thickening waistline? Perish that thought, for why have HRT and ‘Cool Sculpt’ been invented if not to help the soon-to-be-ancient maintain a youthful body?

Perhaps it’s because Molly and Fionn are off on their own adventures or perhaps she really has moved on and is maturing somewhat, but all she knows right now is that she simply cannot endure another summer watching the menfolk drinking pints in the shade and droning on about school’s senior rugby past and present whilst the gals preen over rosé judgmentally gossiping about teenage misbehaviour. Her challenge to break this rather radical news to the book club divas is truly daunting and she will have to spin it as something daring and adventurous. Maybe she’ll slip some naughty CBD oil onto the sushi, now if only she could persuade them to actually eat it …

@HonoraQuinn

Read previous instalments of A View From The Jeep …

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