Social Insecurities: The Engagement

SARAH BREEN on the DAILY ANXIETIES of MODERN LIFE

Illustration by Jacky Sheridan

1.

Bumping into the happy couple and pretending not to have heard the news even though the proposal already has its own hashtag #isaidyes #weddingoftheyear.

2.

Swooning upon hearing he went down on bended knee in Paris. Wondering if he’s good enough for her considering the complete lack of originality.

3.

Keeping schtum when he reveals he asked for her father’s permission despite believing the tradition to be wildly outdated and completely sexist.

4.

Fighting the urge to enquire about her dowry.

5.

Fawning over the ring as if you’ve just hatched from an egg and have never seen a solitaire diamond before.

6.

Declaring it absolutely! stunning! Murmuring something about clarity and surely they must have gone to Antwerp?

7.

Enquiring about whether there’s going to be an engagement party while trying to simultaneously make it clear you’re not fishing for an invite.

8.

Worrying about whether people still expect engagement presents in this day and age. Deciding they don’t.

9.

Panicking about the number of weddings you’ve already committed to attend in 2019.

10.

Doing a mental Venn diagram to see if you can get away with wearing the same outfit to all of them.

Sarah Breen

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